Why Political Change Can't Happen, or, The Two Political Parties: Gatekeepers to Our Constitutional Representation

By D DeHaan

Let’s talk about the two major political parties: the Democrats and the Republicans. These two are like the bouncers of democracy—but not the good kind. Not the ones who stop fights and make sure no one’s sneaking in with a fake ID. No, these guys are the type who stand at the door of the club, letting in their rich friends, ignoring everyone else, and sometimes, just for fun, pretending you’re not on the list.

The Illusion of Problem-Solving

Here’s the thing: if the two parties actually solved the big problems we face—you know, income inequality, healthcare costs, or the fact that money in politics has turned elections into the Hunger Games with fewer attractive people—we might not need them anymore. And they know this. Solving problems isn’t in their business plan. Keeping the problems alive? Now that is how they stay relevant.

Let’s look at how they throw us scraps:

• Healthcare: Instead of giving us a simple, universal system like most other developed nations, we get a bizarre Frankenstein of policies where you’re still left wondering if your sprained ankle will cost more than your rent.

• Wages: Both sides claim to care about workers, but the minimum wage hasn’t budged in years, and if you listen closely, you can actually hear billionaires laughing from their private jets.

• Gun Control: This is the political equivalent of a bad group project. Democrats offer weak, watered-down ideas that solve nothing, while Republicans are like, “Hey, what if instead of fixing the problem, we just yelled about the Second Amendment louder?” And then, nothing happens—except, of course, more gun violence.

And every time they fail, they’re like, “Oh, sorry, it’s the best we can do!” Really? The best you can do? You’re the government. Your job is literally to do things. Meanwhile, lobbyists are serving them steak dinners, and we’re out here getting the political equivalent of a single chicken nugget—no sauce.

Perpetuating Division

The two-party system thrives on division like reality TV thrives on drunken arguments. Every election is framed as a showdown between good and evil, as if you’re choosing between saving a puppy or kicking it. They’re masters of the fear narrative: “If you don’t vote for us, the other side will ruin everything!”

This keeps voters locked in a cycle of desperation, where the only options are the “lesser evil” or “Oh God, no.” And don’t even think about voting for a third party, because apparently, that’s like asking to be cast out of society and forced to live in a cave.

A Call for Accountability

Here’s a wild idea: what if our political parties actually worked for us? If they were serious about constitutional representation, they’d do more than make empty promises and throw crumbs our way:

• Pass policies that empower people instead of corporations.

• Support fearless independents that work for us, so we’re not stuck choosing between two shades of meh.

• Fix systemic problems like gerrymandering and campaign finance laws that make elections about who has the deepest pockets.

But they’re not going to do that unless we demand it. And by “demand it,” I don’t mean a strongly worded email. I mean showing up, supporting alternative candidates, including independents, and refusing to settle for the political equivalent of reheated leftovers. Voting independent isn’t just a symbolic gesture—it’s a direct threat to the dominance of the two-party system, a way to say, “Fix it, or we’ll find someone else who will.”

The Wrap

The two major parties act like they’re the backbone of democracy, but really, they’re more like a bad roommate who eats all your food and still asks for rent money. They keep us divided, dependent, and frustrated, all while making sure the real winners are the lobbyists and donors. So, the next time they throw us crumbs and expect a thank you, remember: we deserve better. It’s time to kick them off the couch and demand a government that actually works for us.